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Beginning The Steps

18 Mar
AA Big Book

AA Big Book (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello, my name is Jim and I am an alcoholic.  I have been battling this disease for a long time now, longer than I care to admit to at times, and it is only recently I was able to fully admit I had no control over it and needed help to overcome it.  For many years I thought I could just drink socially, and for a while I could, but boy what a fool I was.  All those benders I had along the way and the instances of drinking recently have proven to me I cannot control, I never will be able to control it and I need help to stay sober.

 

I have admitted I am powerless over alcohol–that my life has become unmanageable.

 

Step 1 has been completed for me, I have admitted to myself and to others that I am powerless over alcohol, that I cannot control it–it in fact controls me, and because of this my life is unmanageable.  With everything else going on in my life:  divorce, physical and mental health problems, a new relationship, etc.  I do not need or desire the influence of alcohol.

So, what now?  Well, while I have a “recovery buddy”, which is a friend I can talk to about recovery and helping to keep each other sober, what I really need to do is get a sponsor and start going to more meetings.  The problem with getting a sponsor is finding someone that I can trust and have faith in–never an easy task.  I thought I had found one, however it turned out he was involved in a lot of drama (some with my recovery buddy) and that was something I did not want to get involved in, especially considering a sponsor is someone I am supposed to be able to get along with and that would not be easy if I was angry at him and wanted to kick his ass.

I currently volunteer at a social club for people in recovery and it is a good, safe environment for me to be in.  It gives me people to talk with who know what I am going through and are able to talk to me with their own experience in recovering from alcoholism.  The people I have met through the club are important to me and I cherish the impact each of them makes in my life.  Without this network of friends I would most likely be buried in a bottle somewhere at best and still hospitalized at worst.

No need to worry, I won’t be turning all preachy or “booze is bad”, I just wanted to post a disclaimer so everyone would be aware of the tonal changes that are bound to show up in any posts and comments I make in the future.

 

Happy blogging all!

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6 responses to “Beginning The Steps

  1. Daz

    March 18, 2013 at 8:24 pm

    I’m really not sure what to say. Well, good luck, obviously!

    So far as the blog goes: if you keep writing, I’ll keep reading.

    Like

     
  2. Me

    March 18, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    I am proud of you. It takes a lot of courage to post publicly as you have done and to make the changes needed in your life to become and stay sober. Best wishes in your recovery. (feel free to delete if need be)

    Like

     
  3. Recovering Agnostic

    March 19, 2013 at 5:53 pm

    Best of luck. How are you dealing with the AA higher power business?

    Like

     
    • Jim

      March 19, 2013 at 6:52 pm

      I will admit that was a challenge going into this, however, AA does not specify god, it is merely a higher power as you understand it. Therefore, I simply apply my own beliefs for that aspect of the program.

      Like

       
  4. Jim

    March 20, 2013 at 8:41 pm

    I have decided to create a second blog in which I will document my thoughts and progress through recovery. I have done this in order to maintain the initial design of this blog. For anyone who chooses to follow it, the link is below.

    http://apathofrecovery.wordpress.com/

    Like

     

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