Hello, my name is Jim and I am an alcoholic. I have been battling this disease for a long time now, longer than I care to admit to at times, and it is only recently I was able to fully admit I had no control over it and needed help to overcome it. For many years I thought I could just drink socially, and for a while I could, but boy what a fool I was. All those benders I had along the way and the instances of drinking recently have proven to me I cannot control, I never will be able to control it and I need help to stay sober.
I have admitted I am powerless over alcohol–that my life has become unmanageable.
Step 1 has been completed for me, I have admitted to myself and to others that I am powerless over alcohol, that I cannot control it–it in fact controls me, and because of this my life is unmanageable. With everything else going on in my life: divorce, physical and mental health problems, a new relationship, etc. I do not need or desire the influence of alcohol.
So, what now? Well, while I have a “recovery buddy”, which is a friend I can talk to about recovery and helping to keep each other sober, what I really need to do is get a sponsor and start going to more meetings. The problem with getting a sponsor is finding someone that I can trust and have faith in–never an easy task. I thought I had found one, however it turned out he was involved in a lot of drama (some with my recovery buddy) and that was something I did not want to get involved in, especially considering a sponsor is someone I am supposed to be able to get along with and that would not be easy if I was angry at him and wanted to kick his ass.
I currently volunteer at a social club for people in recovery and it is a good, safe environment for me to be in. It gives me people to talk with who know what I am going through and are able to talk to me with their own experience in recovering from alcoholism. The people I have met through the club are important to me and I cherish the impact each of them makes in my life. Without this network of friends I would most likely be buried in a bottle somewhere at best and still hospitalized at worst.
No need to worry, I won’t be turning all preachy or “booze is bad”, I just wanted to post a disclaimer so everyone would be aware of the tonal changes that are bound to show up in any posts and comments I make in the future.
Happy blogging all!